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  • Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    by Donald Jacob Uitvlugt, Rev. Thomas Thorn, Nikko Lee, Dax Bordas, Sebastian Bendix, Rick Powell, Misty Tyers, J. N. Cameron
    Contains Bouillon de Bebe 
  • Spar
    Spar
    by Nikko Lee

    A closeted black belt comes to terms with his bisexuality when he takes an openly gay student as his new sparring partner.

  • Wolf Creek
    Wolf Creek
    by Nikko Lee

    Life as a gay omega werewolf is no fairytale.

  • NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    by Gary Budgen, Julian Darius, Richard Greico Jr, Nikko Lee, K. A. Opperman, Alice Renard, Rose Banks, Paul St. John Mackintosh, Michael Seese

    Contains Instabiable by Nikko Lee

  • Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    by Carol Hightshoe, Cynthia Ward, Terry M. West, Christie Meierz, Dana Bell, Mary E. Lowd, Patrick J. Hurley, Francis W. Alexander, Liam Hogan

    Brainatarian by Nikko Lee

  • Coming Back
    Coming Back
    by James Arthur Anderson, Brian Barnett, Dave Fragments, Shawna Galvin, Vince Darcangelo, Ken Goldman, Michael Lindquist

    Contains A Mother Knows by Nikko Lee (paperback available at Lulu.com)

  • Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    by Jonathan W. Thurston

    Contains Great Mother Wolf by Michelle Knowlton

  • People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    by Frank Larnerd, Tony Peak, Geoff Gander, Shenoa Caroll-Bradd, Robert Hart, Nikko Lee, Kyle Yadlosky, Edward Martin III

    Contains Bouillon de Bebe by Nikko Lee

  • Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    by Nicole Gestalt, Crysta Coburn, J.T Seate, Nikko Lee, V.C., Zak Jane Keir, Blair, Regina Kammer, Jim Lee

    Contains Boson's Mate by Nikko Lee

  • The Big Book of Bizarro
    The Big Book of Bizarro
    by Rich Bottles Jr.

    Contains Honey-Do by Nikko Lee

  • Between Love and Lust
    Between Love and Lust
    by Nikko Lee

    E-book

    Print-on-demand paperback

  • Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    by J. Troy Seate, Patricia McCarthy, Nikke Lee, Andrea Saavedra, James Hartley, Edward McKeown, Mike Graves, J.E. Gurley, Zakk Erikson, David Bernstein C.C. Blake

    Contains Pure Delight by Nikko Lee

Thursday
Nov162017

Anxiety is a thief

When I was a young teenager, my mother sat me down for the 'talk'. No, not the birds and the bees talk. This talk was about mental illness and how common it was in our family.

Depression. Anxiety. Anti-social behaviors. Schizophrenia.

Being a psychiatric nurse, my mother knew how important it was to look for warning signs with the knowledge that mental-illness can be treated and managed.

Although I struggled with most social interactions and have experienced some depressive episodes, I always thought that my anxieties were well-managed without medication. As long as I exercised regularly and my good days vastly outnumbered my down days, I figured I was doing good.

Post-partum with my first child was brutal. The combination of hormonal fluctuations, new motherhood and a baby that wouldn't latch kead me to a place of anxiety that bordered on obsession. Returning to work and time helped me re-establish my equilibrium.

Now that my daughter is 3 years old and starting to encounter social situations that she shies away from, I wonder about the cost of anxiety.

Most people feel some kind of anxiety. It can actually be positive when it moves you to improve yourself and the situation. But anxiety can also be a thief.

I don't want my daughter to miss out because she doesn't want to talk to anyone or she doesn't want to get out of her stroller or carrier.

It's made me wonder what I've missed out on because of my anxiety.

What people have I not talked to because I didn't want to stay at a social engagement where I didn't know anyone?

What opportunities have I passed on because I didn't think I could succeed at them?

What learning experiences have I let pass by because I was did not want to extend myself too far from my comfort zone?

Anxiety is insidious in how it re-shapes your thinking. It convinces you that you really aren't qualified for that job you want to apply for. It tells you that no one really wants to read your writing. It makes you believe that you really don't like to be around people because it's too stressful.

Being a parent allows you to see your life from the outside as you watch your child exhibit behaviors that you might have as well.

I want my daughter to know that it's okay to be quiet and observe or be on her own. But it should be a choice motivated by desire not fear.

Thursday
Oct122017

Just in time for Halloween

Bouillon de Bebe is included in the Bon Appetit Anthology. Check it out:

 

-In Bouillon de Bébé, a family’s twisted tradition of self-sacrifice
contains the power to bring their loved ones back from the brink.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07699CF49

 

Friday
Sep222017

Yellow-Eyed Monster

There's a monster.

I can't see it, only those glowing yellow-eyes.

They whisper to me

"You are wrong."

"You can't do it."

"You don't deserve it."

That insidious voice echoes in my head until all I want to do is hide.

Safe within my comfort zones, waiting for it to leave.

But it doesn't.

It only withdraws into the forest and the dark.

Waiting.

 

When I've had little sleep or my children are being challenging or I am reaching beyond my comfort zone, I feel this overwhelming sense of anxiety. Sometimes I just need to remind myself that my goals and aspirations are worth the risk of failure.

Failing is normal. It is good. Failure is a learning experience.

Not risking failure might feel more comfortable, but it will leaving me with only regret.

Wednesday
Sep202017

Blah blah blah blah

This fall has afforded me the opportunity to return to one of my favorite activities: teaching. I'm currently teaching an intro Anatomy and Physiology class at a local community college.

It's been a while since I attended lectures. I remember how hard they were to sit through and how much information gets dumped on students. While I try to vary class activities some, most lectures are just that – lectures

Even I get tired of speaking about a while. So I can completely synpathesis with the students finding it hard to stay awake for an 8AM class that's info dense.

I just hope that they don't hear Charlie Brown's teacher when I'm talking.

Nothing new to report on the writing front. I resubmitted Wolf Creek and Spar to different publishers and am patiently waiting for a response. Bouillon de Bebe is being reprinted in a Halloween anthology next month.

Tuesday
Aug222017

Life never stops

Just a general update in case some one wanders by and wonders where I am.

I'm here. I think, mostly. Life is busier than ever. I've resubmitted Wolf Creek and Spar to new publishers. I've started teaching an Anatomy and Physiology course at a local community college. I'm still working full-time. I still have two small children who refuse to go to sleep on their own.

Needless to say, no writing is being done. But I am reading Widowmaker by Paul Doiron in my spare moments. I've also found my next non-fiction to read, Dead Mountain. Something about the perilous wilds attracts my imagination.

My thoughts are with the residents of Texas and Louisianna as they face their very own and deadly disaster. It's unimaginable the amount of water that's accumulating. It also reminds me that living on the coast brings it's own possible dangers and that I need to make sure my family is prepared.